Making the Internet a Better Place (One Comment at a Time)

The other day, I had an interesting exchange on my blog.

A reader—let’s call him Fred (because that’s literally his name)—left a pretty harsh comment on an old article of mine. He was frustrated, tired of low-quality posts he’d found elsewhere, and decided mine was guilty by association. He accused me of false advertising and signed off with: “Thanks for making the internet a little worse.”

Ouch.

I could have blasted him back—which was my first impulse—to defend myself. I could have ignored him. Instead, I read his words, let them sit, and wrote a calm reply. No one is more surprised about that than me. But, here’s the twist: Fred came back later to apologize. I was posting my reply when I discovered his apology, so it had nothing to do with my response. He admitted he had lashed out unfairly, admitted he hadn’t read the whole article, and thanked me for actually delivering what the title promised. Then he wrote: “I sincerely apologize for making the internet a little worse.”

That’s when it hit me: this is exactly how we can make the internet a better place. Not through some grand invention or policy change, but through small, everyday interactions. We are either adding a little poison to the water or cleaning it up a little.

This reminded me of Pema Chödrön. I encourage you to look her up if you haven’t heard of her. Pema is an American Tibetan Buddhist, and I find her pretty amazing. She is full of approachable down-to-earth advice. In one of her books, Practicing Peace in Times of War, she talks about aversion practice. It comes down to slowing down enough to experience the aversion you are feeling (anger, irritation, upset, etc.). Notice it. Breathe. The result is a more mindful self. And yeah, it takes practice. Hell, it is a practice.

I once told a friend I was a “shitty Buddhist.” She replied, “We’re all shitty Buddhists.” And that’s the beauty of it—we’re all works in progress.

What We Can Learn from Fred

• Own your mistakes. Fred didn’t sugarcoat it—he just said, “I was wrong. I’m sorry.” That’s rare online, and refreshing.
• Don’t unload your baggage on strangers. He admitted his frustration came from many bad articles, but I just happened to be the unlucky target. Before you hit “send,” make sure you’re aiming at the right thing.
• Apologize when you screw up. It doesn’t erase the first comment, but it transforms the interaction. I have nothing but good feelings from the exchange when I look back on it.

What We Can Learn from Responding Well

• Meet anger with calm. I didn’t roast him back. I thanked him and used his feedback as a nudge to double-check my post.
• Turn criticism into improvement. I ended up testing my instructions again, updating the article, and making it clearer for future readers. His frustration ultimately helped.
• Remember the human. Behind that snarky comment was a tired guy who just wanted an answer.

Simple Ways to Make the Internet a Better Place

1. Read before reacting. Don’t skim a headline and start typing. I see this happen all the time in comment sections—it just encourages everyone else to do the same thing.
2. Pick your battles. Not every wrong opinion is your job to correct.
3. Say thank you. Gratitude changes the tone more than you think.
4. Don’t hijack someone else’s good news. Just let them have their moment.
5. If you were wrong, admit it. No one’s keeping score, but people remember humility.
6. Leave things better than you found them. A comment section is like a campground. Don’t leave trash behind.

The Takeaway

Fred reminded me that the internet is just people—flawed, tired, distracted, human people—typing at each other. Every angry jab, every kind word, every apology—it all adds up. If we each do our part to dial down the hostility and add a little grace, maybe we can all make the internet a little better instead of worse.